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Yoonzter

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Yoonzter

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  • Number of visits : 1981
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Yoonzter's favorite FMLs

Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11267) - you deserved it (63307)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

#16237035
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41120) - you deserved it (3412)

On 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by nicknick2 (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

#16221973
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48656) - you deserved it (25529)

On 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61858) - you deserved it (9673)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

#16189610
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37258) - you deserved it (13335)

On 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm - love - by DMitch (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

#16173128
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22475) - you deserved it (12587)

On 05/14/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by bloodyLIP - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (110517) - you deserved it (15418)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

#16161340
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41460) - you deserved it (3816)

On 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by Uhmm... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to run a mile in gym class for fitness training. If it takes longer than 10 minutes to run the stretch, you have to re-take it. My time was 10:02. FML

#16160002
532 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35529) - you deserved it (18844)

On 05/13/2011 at 5:10pm - misc - by Alex (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom said she wanted me to get laser eye surgery before she did, "Just in case it isn't safe." FML

#16158783
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33712) - you deserved it (2646)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by samadams42 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

#16154731
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (6096)

On 05/13/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by Username -

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33128) - you deserved it (14648)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, I was sitting in the lecture hall. A girl walked by to get to her seat and her dress got caught on the handles, lifting it up. She didn't notice but I did, so I tried to take it off the handles. She turned around to see me holding her dress up. FML

#16153880
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34031) - you deserved it (7597)

On 05/13/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by ctop (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

#16152690
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (8344)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by phant776 (man) - United States (California)



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