Yoonzter

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Yoonzter

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3804
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Yoonzter's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Yoonzter's favorite FMLs

Today, on my metro ride home, I sat next to a woman who thought it was appropriate to continually scratch at her scalp and then eat her 'scalp pickings'. When I looked over at her hair, I could see scabs clumped together from her previous scratching sessions. FML

by kekeroos / 05/20/2011 at 11:17am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation

Today, I was at Walmart with my mom, when a guy next to me let out a series of vicious farts. Assuming it was me, my mom chewed me out in front of the guy and made me apologize. The man looked at my mom and said, "Children, they're so immature." FML

by nicknick2 / 05/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

by anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health

Today, I went to Subway with my girlfriend. Just as the time came for her to pay, she went to the car to grab her purse. She didn't come back. I found a note on the windshield saying, "It's over." FML

by DMitch / 05/15/2011 at 3:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I learned the hard way that an ice cube is capable of ripping the skin off your bottom lip. FML

by bloodyLIP / 05/14/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

by ali grace / 05/14/2011 at 7:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my brother slipping into a pair of panties. Specifically, a pair of my panties. FML

by Uhmm... / 05/13/2011 at 7:06pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I had to run a mile in gym class for fitness training. If it takes longer than 10 minutes to run the stretch, you have to re-take it. My time was 10:02. FML

by Alex / 05/13/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom said she wanted me to get laser eye surgery before she did, "Just in case it isn't safe." FML

by samadams42 / 05/13/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

by Username / 05/13/2011 at 4:13am / Transportation

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

by eenkoekje / 05/13/2011 at 3:20am / Kids

Today, I was sitting in the lecture hall. A girl walked by to get to her seat and her dress got caught on the handles, lifting it up. She didn't notice but I did, so I tried to take it off the handles. She turned around to see me holding her dress up. FML

by ctop / 05/13/2011 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize and I was hit with a big stick. FML

by phant776 / 05/13/2011 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Transportation