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Yoonzter

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Yoonzter
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1428
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Yoonzter's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML

#16984657
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (3063)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:04am - work - by chawlay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML

#16965226
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37887) - you deserved it (2417)

On 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by beablue18 - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (3442)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of five years proposed to me in front of my entire family. He later confessed that it was part of a dare with his friends because, "There was no way you'd say yes." Guess who has to explain this to all my relatives? FML

#16882542
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36904) - you deserved it (2976)

On 06/27/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by mavstrr1764847 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58160) - you deserved it (7218)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML

#16871149
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19952) - you deserved it (31790)

On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML

#16861259
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (3877)

On 06/26/2011 at 3:02am - misc - by ugly - United States

Today, during my honeymoon, my wife and I finally went scuba-diving. My nose was too big to fit in the face goggles, so I couldn't go. My wife went without me anyway. FML

#16838274
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (7289)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:04pm - love - by pinocchio - United States

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

#16837110
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22854) - you deserved it (6186)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was rear-ended while at a stop sign, by my driving instructor. FML

#16815939
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30136) - you deserved it (2331)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Katie - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

#16791372
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (2555)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by ifmlftw - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML

#16781053
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (2945)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:52pm - work - by micheal - United States

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74511) - you deserved it (6151)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, my son invited his girlfriend over to our house just to break up with her. Then he asked me to drive her home. So I was then stuck in a car with a bawling teenage girl who lived over twenty minutes away. FML

#16692971
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36651) - you deserved it (5295)

On 06/16/2011 at 9:20am - kids - by Username - United States

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

#16666197
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7909) - you deserved it (47720)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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