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Yoonzter

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Yoonzter

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  • Number of visits : 1885
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Yoonzter's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (2796)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (12310)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (3458)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML

#17479569
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37635) - you deserved it (3295)

On 08/15/2011 at 10:45am - love - by single lady - United States (California)

Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML

#17473520
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27792) - you deserved it (9041)

On 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I zoned out in a coffee shop for about two minutes and was brought back to reality when a woman smacked me out of my seat. Apparently I was staring at her chest while zoned out. FML

#17436721
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (6450)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52371) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40200) - you deserved it (3237)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40950) - you deserved it (6282)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38396) - you deserved it (2718)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34507) - you deserved it (7575)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39271) - you deserved it (4245)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the plant on my windowsill fell and landed in my face while I was napping. It's a cactus. FML

#17123749
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (7187)

On 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54541) - you deserved it (9315)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

#17000180
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37867) - you deserved it (12866)

On 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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