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Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21845) - you deserved it (59838)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was trying to give my girlfriend an orgasm. While doing so she was lying on her back. I asked her: "How do you like that, baby?". She responded by asking where I bought the false ceiling and spotlights as she thought it would look good in her flat. She got bored instead of excited. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28959) - you deserved it (12454)
On 08/04/2009 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Hopelesslover (man) - Malta
Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (19555)
On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)
Today, my roommate came home and began changing clothes in the same room that my boyfriend and I were in. I quickly got annoyed and angry and when I began questioning her about it she just laughed while saying, "Oh relax, it's not like he's never seen me naked before." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47982) - you deserved it (2887)
On 07/24/2009 at 5:04am - love - by Sally (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, after work, I parked in the parking lot I go to every day to let heavy traffic go by. As I was about to leave, two cops suddenly yanked me out of the car and arrested me for "stocking," as they spelled it on the report. Some paranoid girl thought I was parking there every day to watch her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (2191)
On 07/20/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by et510 (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, after not seeing my boyfriend for 9 months, he came to meet me at the airport. I was so excited when I first saw him that I broke into a sprint to greet him. Apparently, running through the airport looks suspicious, because a security guard tackled me. Now I have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42157) - you deserved it (4859)
On 07/19/2009 at 9:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7757) - you deserved it (41170)
On 07/19/2009 at 2:45am - love - by DramaQueen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64277) - you deserved it (3601)
On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a waiter came up and and put out his hand so I gave him a high five and pounded it. He then says, "Um, that was a nice high five but I wanted your plate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8817) - you deserved it (40564)
On 05/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by Clueless (woman) - United States
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