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Xynie

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Xynie

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 147
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Xynie : Ice Snorting Goats

Xynie's page activity

Visits<b>The_Tenth_Doctor</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 1:43pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 05/29/2013 at 9:33am<b>womperton</b> - the 05/28/2013 at 8:54pm

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Xynie's favorite FMLs

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99738) - you deserved it (11645)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53934) - you deserved it (3461)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69416) - you deserved it (4244)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67327) - you deserved it (9925)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34459) - you deserved it (6311)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

#20536683
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40264) - you deserved it (5358)

On 03/09/2013 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30353) - you deserved it (4346)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML

#18568440
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36859) - you deserved it (4303)

On 12/21/2011 at 6:28am - love - by tarynfaye (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40608) - you deserved it (5233)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML

#13711659
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34784) - you deserved it (16350)

On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying "milk the penis... miiiiilk the penis." FML

#10667407
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46596) - you deserved it (13742)

On 05/21/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by mperrotta913 (man) - United States (South Carolina)



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