Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xxak907xX

Search for a member

Xxak907xX

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 June 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2150
  • Number of comments : 164
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 29 posted

About Xxak907xX : Well.....

Xxak907xX's page activity

Visits<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:08am<b>drpepper2019</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 5:20pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:33pm<b>vivian_rae</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:32pm<b>lillord55</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 2:34am<b>wopchop12</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:10pm<b>liquidbacon</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 11:09am<b>Kitty19</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 6:12pm<b>MrRicko500</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 5:29pm<b>EnjoyYourLife</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 3:46am<b>MBSC</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 12:16pm<b>arimylove</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 5:10am<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:45am<b>shellykjelly</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 3:25am<b>soursopp</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 1:56am<b>Aeroxx1337</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 7:26pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 06/03/2013 at 11:13pm<b>noncom</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 7:29pm

Xxak907xX's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Xxak907xX's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22228) - you deserved it (3092)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my school voted for a Pokémon theme for this year's homecoming. FML

#17773811
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33321) - you deserved it (16804)

On 09/18/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by ohgodwhy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

#17749646
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19874) - you deserved it (8404)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Japaroni - United States

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28041) - you deserved it (11487)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85396) - you deserved it (13093)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30283) - you deserved it (4062)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30283) - you deserved it (4062)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28552) - you deserved it (3047)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29845) - you deserved it (4331)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

#17633447
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (1736)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34792) - you deserved it (3376)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

#17612047
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12137) - you deserved it (52593)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

#17597780
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (2615)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
679 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (49214)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML

#17538600
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27633) - you deserved it (5492)

On 08/21/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by xXangelaXx - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: