Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xxak907xX

Search for a member

Xxak907xX
  • Town/Country : Alaska, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 June 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1662
  • Number of comments : 164
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 29 posted

About Xxak907xX : Well.....

Xxak907xX's last visitors

Kitty19shellykjellylegendaryplyanoncom

Xxak907xX's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Xxak907xX's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10818) - you deserved it (39849)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26604) - you deserved it (2943)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26604) - you deserved it (2943)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28077) - you deserved it (8450)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

#17874852
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27615) - you deserved it (2759)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm - kids - by jesus christ - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23500) - you deserved it (5802)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after being in the UK for 2 months, I learned that when saying, "I'm about to blow off and kill someone", to the British "blow off" means "fart." This was pointed out to me in an open-space office after a particularly loud rant. FML

#17861769
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8067) - you deserved it (17816)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:04am - work - by AngerManagement - United Kingdom

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

#17830762
561 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (15877)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40081) - you deserved it (4102)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

#17818557
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40081) - you deserved it (4102)

On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

#17810986
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32131) - you deserved it (7289)

On 09/23/2011 at 2:22am - love - by drastech99 - United States (California)

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21654) - you deserved it (13914)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to stop a teenage boy from entering the woman's bathroom. When he argued with me I had him thrown out. Turns out, according to their parents and driver's license, it was a girl. FML

#17780455
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9464) - you deserved it (37109)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by fluke - United States (Florida)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53210) - you deserved it (5252)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (2414)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: