Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Xxak907xX

Search for a member

Xxak907xX
  • Town/Country : Alaska, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 June 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1660
  • Number of comments : 164
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 29 posted

About Xxak907xX : Well.....

Xxak907xX's last visitors

Kitty19shellykjellylegendaryplyanoncom

Xxak907xX's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Xxak907xX's favorite FMLs

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31045) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31045) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
602 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41929) - you deserved it (11055)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

#18260182
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (2379)

On 11/15/2011 at 11:15pm - misc - by ledon (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I discovered that there is nothing wrong with our snowblower. I live in Alaska and for the last 10 years I have been shoveling our long steep driveway because I thought the snowblower was broken. Reality? My mother has "never been able to get it out of the shed." FML

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

#18249265
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (1641)

On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

#18244836
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21319) - you deserved it (3011)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:37am - work - by metallifreak44 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

#18210187
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45798) - you deserved it (3343)

On 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm - love - by Nicoli - United States (Washington)

Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML

#18191865
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25271) - you deserved it (7677)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML

#18156228
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31877) - you deserved it (3751)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML

#18123413
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31440) - you deserved it (4542)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm - kids - by VladyBoi (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML

#18112365
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (2880)

On 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm - work - by Katrin - Norway

Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML

#18101426
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (1963)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:22am - love - by backstabbed - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML

#18101426
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (1963)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:22am - love - by backstabbed - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you deserved it (2229)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: