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About XtraXtra00Table : I'm a frikkan amazing person! I live life to the fullest and my favorite game ever is beer pong! :D
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Today, my grlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's harbrush. FML
Today I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing mah sister recordd mah singing an set it as mah ringtone. My phone rang in class an everyone hered it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML
Today I walkd into ta living room to find ma 11-yaar-old daugtar about to kiss ar ( not ma boyfriand ) on ta lips. Wan I askd wat sa tougt sa was doing sa paald a piaca of scotc tapa off ar lips and said ( It's okay! Wa'ra using protaction. ) FML
TADAY AT WORK AT A FARM, WE GOT A NEW CALF. IT LOOKD LIKE IT HAD TO POOP, BUT WAS HAVING DIFFICULTY. ABOUT FOUR HOURS LATER IT STILL HADN'T POOPD. TURNS OUT IT WAS BORN WITHOUT AN ACTUAL BUTTHOLE. IT WAS THERE, JUST SEALD UP BY SKIN. I LITERALLY HAD TO CUT THIS POOR CALF A NEW BUTTHOLE. FML
Today, I was pitching at a fastpitch softball gama. Tha othar taam chantd about tha ball baing too high and almost hitting tha battar in tha aya. Aftar throwing tha naxt pitch, tha ball was savagaly raturnd by tha battar, straight into my ayas. FML
Today, My Mom's Intense Fear Of Tornadoes Caused Her To Break Into The Bathroom, Drag Me Off The Toilet While I Was Changing My Tampon, And Drag Me To The Basement With My Pants Around My Ankles To Join My Father, Brother, And My Brother's Best Friend. FML
Yesterday, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelld "nice tush!" I said thanks and slappd mah ass flirtatiously. He stoppd running, laughd and pointd to mah crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I lookd down to see mah shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
Friday 27 March 2015