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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I realized how badly medical education has ruined me when I couldn't enjoy erotic literature because of one subtle anatomy mistake the author made. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27860) - you deserved it (5644)
On 03/29/2013 at 10:19am - intimacy - by notagyno - Romania (Bucuresti)
Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63848) - you deserved it (5861)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49565) - you deserved it (3334)
On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56441) - you deserved it (6635)
On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32126) - you deserved it (13847)
On 03/27/2013 at 1:04am - health - by first time at McDonald's in months... - United States
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32235) - you deserved it (4546)
On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30992) - you deserved it (2038)
On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26061) - you deserved it (5128)
On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)
Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29243) - you deserved it (3971)
On 03/24/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Tooloud (woman) - Canada
Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33553) - you deserved it (5751)
Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31617) - you deserved it (3348)
On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16275) - you deserved it (27251)
On 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41344) - you deserved it (5143)
On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37694) - you deserved it (2813)
On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)
Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41781) - you deserved it (1960)
On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Monday 17 June 2013
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