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Xero3g

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Xero3g

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 30758
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Xero3g's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

#1681747
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62495) - you deserved it (7221)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML

#1674851
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46415) - you deserved it (16367)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

#1656841
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165622) - you deserved it (12327)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

#1652768
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15042) - you deserved it (91568)

On 05/05/2009 at 1:43am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML

#1651760
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12194) - you deserved it (51352)

On 05/05/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by station (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd be awkward, but we can still fuck." FML

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

#1643455
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19014) - you deserved it (43211)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by Jon (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

#1619469
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56770) - you deserved it (27007)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
512 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100394) - you deserved it (271736)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML

#1616689
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13842) - you deserved it (54916)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:40am - work - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (272124) - you deserved it (17612)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23474) - you deserved it (82963)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (181620) - you deserved it (46735)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

#1529921
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59385) - you deserved it (17202)

On 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm - health - by jlover42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I decided to run outside. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he replied You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML

#1505270
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16342) - you deserved it (46962)

On 04/30/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by Eli123 (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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