Xero3g

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Xero3g

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 33207
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Xero3g's page activity

Visits<b>andicantchange</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 6:38pm<b>DatBlueDerp</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 7:31pm<b>LiliK</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:28pm<b>hummelbyhummel</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 7:24pm<b>carterbaggett</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:49pm<b>mthurston</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 4:09pm<b>TheHype</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:31pm<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:44pm<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:16am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:46pm<b>Nathan_h24</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:19pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:01pm<b>Rad630</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 11:18pm<b>night_fox1233</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:04pm<b>clutch__23</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:35pm<b>venus91</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 10:47pm<b>ironworker378</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:48pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 7:22am

Fucked!<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 3:44am

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Xero3g's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML

by Jinthebar / 05/06/2009 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

by Fitz / 05/05/2009 at 8:22am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML

by station / 05/05/2009 at 1:10am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd be awkward, but we can still fuck." FML

by penisface69 / 05/05/2009 at 12:41am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

by Jon / 05/04/2009 at 8:46pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

by Amey / 05/04/2009 at 5:09am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML

by anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 1:40am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

by danggit3290 / 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

by jlover42 / 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I decided to run outside. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he replied You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML

by Eli123 / 04/30/2009 at 8:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Love