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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 33344
  • Number of comments : 176
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Xero3g's page activity

Visits<b>andicantchange</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 6:38pm<b>DatBlueDerp</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 7:31pm<b>LiliK</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:28pm<b>hummelbyhummel</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 7:24pm<b>carterbaggett</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 5:49pm<b>mthurston</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 4:09pm<b>TheHype</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:31pm<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:44pm<b>ThirteenThirteen</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:16am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 2:46pm<b>Nathan_h24</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 4:19pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:01pm<b>Rad630</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 11:18pm<b>night_fox1233</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:04pm<b>clutch__23</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:35pm<b>venus91</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 10:47pm<b>ironworker378</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 10:48pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 7:22am

Fucked!<b>FlamingJazkinz</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 3:44am

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Xero3g's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 8:28pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

by automaticfail_00 / 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I reached into my fridge to grab a strawberry soda. I noticed the can had started to leak from the top so I slurped up the spilt red liquid on the top of the can. I realized it wasn't soda, but blood from a defrosting steak on the shelf above it. FML

by kjmsit / 06/16/2009 at 12:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 12:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says "I've been a dirty dirty girl" in a seductive tone, I thought she meant about the table so I said "yes you have" then she winked at me, I walked away fast. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 3:53am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

by fmlfmlfml / 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

Today, I called the number a guy had given me at a bar last night. I got the Soulja Boy Hotline. Now every few hours I get messages on my phone like 'Good morning! Jump on up and get yo swag on, this is Soulja Boy!' and I can't seem to get it to stop. FML

by rain / 05/31/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, my girlfriend who lives in China contacted me and told me she'd been harassed by a guy and was thinking about pressing charges. The guy is someone I know from college - he promised me he would say "hi" to her for me while he was in Shanghai. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2009 at 12:18pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Love

Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML

by Ash / 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice "oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

by alexis89 / 05/26/2009 at 12:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy