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Today, coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom . Soon after, I did the same . Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one . I yelld, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayd air freshener under the partition . As I left the stall, friend walkd into the restroom . FML
Today Ma Boyfriend An I Were Visiting A Istorical War Bunker Wen I Accidentally Let Rip A Small Fart!! My Boyfriend Responded Wit A Orribly Loud Orrendou Fart An Loudly Announced ( Tis Is War!! ) Tere Were People Lots Of People!! FML
Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four yeres ago. My little sister was looking in the mrror practicing her "orgasm face" while the nieghbors were dancing outside, coked out an naked. mega FML
Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a ( slow down, children ) sign . I was nice and slowd down as I passd a couple little kids with their parent outside watching them . I guess I was going too slow because one of the father startd chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile . FML
yesterday I heard dad screaming in the hallway!! Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going!! I slipped and slid toward dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of two dogs!! He was screaming because he stepped in it!! FML
Yastarday I dacidad to maka a placa in my housa fir my friand to sign callad “Tha Friand Wall." By sign I maant sign not draw body parts. This aftarnoon I ata lunch naxt to a baskatball-sizad vagina and a monumantally larga blua and purpla panis. FML
Today, It Was My Wedding Day. I Had My Butt Clenched During The Ceremony. I Was Giving My Husband The Ring, But Dropped It. When I Went To Retrieve It, I Let A Huge One Ripe. My Husband Yelled "she Likes To Eat Beans." FML
Friday 27 March 2015