[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

Xero3g

Search for a member

Xero3g
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 29170
  • Number of comments : 175
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Xero3g's last visitors

FreezeEsotericAuraCloudEnvypendatikraphanneRobotataRosiePatosierentatentzwinger35bongsewerha

Xero3g's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Xero3g's favorite FMLs

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (6373) - you deserved it (26626)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (8699) - you deserved it (2446)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (38887) - you deserved it (10563)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026 (425)

I agree, your life sucks (39347) - you deserved it (6105)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML

#5349169 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (5843)

On 09/19/2009 at 10:37am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

#5345051 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (28261) - you deserved it (24116)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:22am - love - by Pierceew (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML

#5344643 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (56709) - you deserved it (2965)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

#5340344 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (32475) - you deserved it (2620)

On 09/18/2009 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

#5330246 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (2566)

On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

#4031081 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (8364) - you deserved it (41169)

On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

#3791674 (317)

I agree, your life sucks (64053) - you deserved it (2419)

On 07/16/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML

#3666100 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (45278) - you deserved it (7057)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by 1234 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

#3660807 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (43266) - you deserved it (1562)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:43am - misc - by ttsutaoka (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (50576) - you deserved it (2797)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725 (300)

I agree, your life sucks (49220) - you deserved it (5208)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States