Xellith

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Xellith

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 April 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6954
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Xellith : english. ask for more!

Xellith's page activity

Visits<b>mkmon7</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 10:15pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 9:59pm<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 5:53am<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:59pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 3:28pm<b>konan__</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 1:16am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:32pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:03pm<b>Saxicolous</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 9:36pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:35pm<b>FailureNumberOne</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 5:58pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 1:52am<b>CallMeSpaholla</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:59am<b>EvAN_117</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:09am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 8:38pm<b>niightmares</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 4:46pm<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 8:45am<b>nickishooper</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 8:49pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 10:35pm

Xellith's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Xellith's badges

Xellith's favorite FMLs

Today, I got in the shower, washed my hair and shaved because I wanted to look great for a big date. I got out, brushed and dried my hair and spent an hour putting it up in the perfect hairstyle. Running late, I quickly put on my new dress, looked down and realized i had only shaved one leg. FML

by kam3221 / 05/01/2009 at 12:33am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 7:16am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

by seriouslywtf / 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

by scarletdurose88 / 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to get some teeth pulled. I had Novocaine in my gums and lip so I couldn't feel a thing. When the doctor is pulling out the last tooth, he sneezes and pulls the tooth out. He looks in my mouth and I hear, "Oh, shit..." I now have stitches in my mouth. FML

by TT / 04/19/2009 at 4:48pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour, the guy showed up, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and asked, "You couldn't just reach in?" I forgot I left the window open. FML

by .... / 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

by EpicFailAtItsFinest / 04/12/2009 at 10:49pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, the girl I have had a crush on for the last 4 months asked me on AIM how to block someone. 30 seconds after I finished explaining how to block someone on iChat, she went offline and I haven't seen her on AIM since. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

by Aprilfools / 04/12/2009 at 6:47am / United States (Oregon) / Love