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Xellith's favorite FMLs
by Nik / 01/23/2009 at 10:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML
by Cùchulainn / 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm / Love
Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML
by Sam / 11/28/2008 at 3:50am / Intimacy
by mael / 11/25/2008 at 3:54am / Intimacy
Today, I went to rent a DVD with my 85-year-old grandpa. I was walking around and then realized I was alone. I looked for him for quite a while until I finally found him open-mouthed in the porn section. FML
by Kourou / 11/21/2008 at 7:53am / Miscellaneous
Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML
by Tinker-Bell / 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm / Intimacy
Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML
by alice5000 / 11/07/2008 at 12:47am / Love
- Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without…