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About Xellith : english. ask for more!
I agree, their lives suck
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Today I want ovar to my boyfriand's apartmant and I smallad a daliciou aroma as I walkad in so I askad him what ha was cooking . His rasponsa was "I'm not looool cooking anything . I just fartad." maga FML
Today... my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes... and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later... she pulled out looool a tooth and putted it under her pillow. I cummed in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML
Today, I was driving mah child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. mega FML
Today it was Halloween and I was giving candy to kids. When a group of kidsho lookd like they were around 4 years old came up to me and said "Hey mister do u have one of those things that make it look like u r fat under yur shirt?" I didn't have one of those but I lid and said "Yes." FML
Today, I wore my kilt to the university I attend. Getting tired of the stareshich I was recieving, I yelled "It's cause its too big to fit in my pants". As soon as the words left my mouth, a gust of wind cummed and blew my kilt up around my waist, revealing that my previous claim was untrue. FML
Today , it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the frst time my wife an I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me an it was love at frst sight. I lookd to my right as she stormd off an then realizd I had told a story about my ex-grlfriendho was sitting in the crowd. FML
Today, I got on my computer and saw my little broter ad left is myspace page up wit a message between im and is friend. Tey were talking about a plan to basically umiliate me in any way possible. It was called "Operation: Fat Cow." real FML
Today , I witnessd a homeles man fall off of his bike and land face frst onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather , I gave him the coat off of back. He got up lyk nothing happend and sprintd away with it. Oh yeah , wallet was in the inside pocket. FML
Today...hile shopping for some banana at mah local grocery store... an old woman came up to me an started rubbing mah stomach. She simply askedhen I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
Today, I was having a nice moment with mah granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking mah face. We were both quite content, until she said, ( Aw, Grandma, yur skin looool feels just like a crocodile. ) FML
Today, a friend asked me if I'd buy him some condoms because he's too shy to buy them himself. I obliged an whilst queuing at the till to buy them I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned around to see my fiancée glaring at me. We don't use condoms. FML
Today , I went to drop te garbage in te compactor as I left to do some sopping. I quickly puttd ma andbag down on te side , trew te 'garbage' in te macine , watcd it do its ting , and ten turnd round to find... te bag of garbage on te side. FML
Friday 27 March 2015