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XavierShade18

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XavierShade18

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  • Number of visits : 96
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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XavierShade18's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Consolation prize

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XavierShade18's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55026) - you deserved it (64151)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

#20632794
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58620) - you deserved it (7656)

On 04/30/2013 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

#20547294
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (49321)

On 03/17/2013 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Cliché... or Touché? -

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

#20545430
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15941) - you deserved it (57704) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Centre)

Today, my grandma gave me a sex talk. Not the usual one, either. This one was about blowjobs. I had to sit politely as she explained it's something all women have to learn if they want a well-behaved husband, but that it's an "acquired taste". Gag me. FML

#20545240
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43525) - you deserved it (5361)

On 03/15/2013 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by butnotlikethat (woman) - China (Jiangxi)

Today, my prom dress finally arrived. My prom was yesterday. FML

#20544424
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49264) - you deserved it (6571)

On 03/15/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by ipaid350dollarsfornothing - Qatar

Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34528) - you deserved it (4456)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the library doing research for my midterm. All of the computers were in use, so I decided to use my laptop instead. Ten minutes later, I was confronted and kicked out. My offense? Unauthorized use of the library's so-called "Free Public WiFi". FML

#20540861
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (2776)

On 03/12/2013 at 3:03pm - misc - by PhailedMidterm (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33478) - you deserved it (5048)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

#6005928
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27738) - you deserved it (2220)

On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)



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