Xathanos

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Xathanos

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Milingimbi, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2565
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Xathanos's page activity

Visits<b>Phenix01</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 1:12pm<b>CheekyRaccoon</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:31am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:17am<b>carlyggibby</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:05am<b>mikeman1744</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:01pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:24pm<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 1:25pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:57pm<b>sandy20000</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:09pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:08pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:18pm<b>MissHeartSihk</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 9:24pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 6:47pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 6:31pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:42am<b>CraZedMadMan</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 9:31pm

Xathanos's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Xathanos's badges

Xathanos's favorite FMLs

Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML

by Joe thomas / 07/24/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

by parenting sucks / 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I woke up with bowel problems which have been causing me to violently pass wind every couple of minutes. I have to spend the next two hours sitting an exam in dead silence. FML

by pleasestop / 06/11/2011 at 4:48am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

by dwhite032 / 06/06/2011 at 3:06am / United States (Indiana) / Geek

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

by peaaaak / 06/03/2011 at 6:17am / United Kingdom (Thurrock) / Intimacy

Today, I applied for a dental insurance that claims "you cannot be denied". I was denied. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 3:26am / United States / Health

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

by dickface / 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

by ouchmytits / 03/28/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend in his bedroom. It was getting pretty intense, so he got up to close the door. While he was facing the other way, I took off my bra and sling-shot it so that it would hit him. Right when I let go of it, his mom walked in and it hit her in the face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 1:54am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML

by dollarstorepwnr / 03/19/2011 at 1:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text just before class that my partner didn't finish their half of our 30 page research paper because "That class is stupid". FML

by sam / 12/15/2010 at 3:11pm / United States / Work

Today, I discovered that my cleaning lady steals valuables from me, and covered it up by saying that "the vacuum must've eaten it." FML

by lauren / 07/08/2010 at 12:51am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was late to work because the metro broke down. Yesterday I was late to work because the train in front of me broke down. The week before that I was late to work because the swat team shut the entire metro station down. Even the interns think I'm making this up. FML

by Katie / 06/30/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy