Xathanos

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Xathanos

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Milingimbi, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2563
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Xathanos's page activity

Visits<b>Phenix01</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 1:12pm<b>CheekyRaccoon</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 6:31am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 6:17am<b>carlyggibby</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 1:05am<b>mikeman1744</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 3:01pm<b>sanuxo_</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 6:56pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 7:51pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:24pm<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 1:25pm<b>RobotUnicorn1209</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:57pm<b>sandy20000</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 4:09pm<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 11:08pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 8:18pm<b>MissHeartSihk</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 9:24pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 6:47pm<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 6:31pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 1:42am<b>CraZedMadMan</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 9:31pm

Xathanos's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Xathanos's badges

Xathanos's favorite FMLs

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

by ouch / 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML

by Cheap N Happy / 02/17/2012 at 4:44am / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML

by makeupsex / 02/14/2012 at 6:25am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

by meh / 01/18/2012 at 12:21am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

by haggisbowl / 01/14/2012 at 1:52am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

by ugly? / 09/20/2011 at 4:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I took my Catholic girlfriend home to meet my family for the first time. My brother thought it would be civil to spend over an hour insulting her religion and explaining in detail the many ways in which "the Force" is superior. FML

by Jace / 08/19/2011 at 6:36pm / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Love

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 / 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous