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Xathanos

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Xathanos
  • Town/Country : Epictopia, Awesomeland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 7 August 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1451
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Xathanos : Congratulations creeper, welcome to my profile page :)

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Xathanos's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

#19196549
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7386) - you deserved it (49219) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by BadIdea - France

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31141) - you deserved it (1707)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29295) - you deserved it (1748)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36530) - you deserved it (5418)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML

#19098700
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25988) - you deserved it (3069)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:44am - love - by Cheap N Happy (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML

#19071963
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25848) - you deserved it (4345)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by makeupsex (woman) - Canada

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

#18841081
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (2350)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

#18802490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (8036)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (3489)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33499) - you deserved it (5167)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

#18289580
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26405) - you deserved it (5479)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

#17974807
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46526) - you deserved it (5307)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18841) - you deserved it (42238)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

#17786304
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26806) - you deserved it (2515)

On 09/20/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by ugly? - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53220) - you deserved it (5255)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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