XanderJayNix

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Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 7:45pm)

XanderJayNix

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4879
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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XanderJayNix's page activity

Visits<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:18pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 2:15am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 3:55pm<b>CaroBear</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 12:59am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:41am<b>ThatOneGuyKy</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:11pm<b>llamingo</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:05pm<b>jessurah</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:58am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:58am<b>xJo420</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:55am<b>Godsofdracos</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:09am<b>cerlia</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:03am<b>blu8</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 10:57am<b>suckstosuckgirl</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:56pm<b>lb0812</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:14pm<b>CaptainJudgment</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:57am<b>Bmf2k</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 6:01pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 9:55pm

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XanderJayNix's favorite FMLs

Today, I had just finished up at work. I was standing on a street corner, waiting to cross to get to my car on the other side. I had three people pull up beside me and ask me how much I charged. FML

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 7:50am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

by Bebefer / 03/15/2012 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

by CallaC / 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

by Simms / 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm / United States / Work

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

by sandi519 / 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm / United States / Work

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

by Major3 / 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2012 at 2:23am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

by starboy / 03/10/2012 at 1:50am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

by banned / 03/09/2012 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy