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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Socialite
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I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22493) - you deserved it (12957)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12481) - you deserved it (4174)
On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States
Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17744) - you deserved it (2502)
On 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by sandi519 (woman) - United States
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6782) - you deserved it (99516)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17868) - you deserved it (38124)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17868) - you deserved it (38124)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17304) - you deserved it (16215)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31741) - you deserved it (4878)
On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19893) - you deserved it (6928)
On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16692) - you deserved it (17997)
On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18456) - you deserved it (2528)
On 03/04/2012 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19707) - you deserved it (1194)
On 03/01/2012 at 7:47pm - work - by craigtm029429 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26980) - you deserved it (1251)
On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25503) - you deserved it (5910)
On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)
Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28532) - you deserved it (1721)
On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)
Monday 20 May 2013
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