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XanderJayNix

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XanderJayNix
  • Town/Country : San Diego, CA, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1888
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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XanderJayNix's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

#19281835
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27114) - you deserved it (3038)

On 03/15/2012 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

#19281445
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (1886)

On 03/15/2012 at 3:49am - misc - by Bebefer - United States (California)

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

#19279551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28859) - you deserved it (1790)

On 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm - misc - by CallaC (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27399) - you deserved it (17377)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML

#19274332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15060) - you deserved it (5345)

On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States

Today, I was working retail when a group of older gentlemen came in looking for a good sound system. I showed them a top-range system and gushed about it in detail, trying to close the sale. One of them snorted and said, "See Dave, girls like her are the reason ball gags were invented." FML

#19268166
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21723) - you deserved it (3334)

On 03/12/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by sandi519 (woman) - United States

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

#19253868
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8314) - you deserved it (133481)

On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (50339)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
588 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (50339)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (17833)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

#19243836
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34650) - you deserved it (6060)

On 03/09/2012 at 1:59am - intimacy - by banned - United States (California)

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

#19222956
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (7492)

On 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm - health - by Kayla - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17088) - you deserved it (18483)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

#19212153
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22709) - you deserved it (3366)

On 03/04/2012 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML

#19198099
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22919) - you deserved it (1381)

On 03/01/2012 at 7:47pm - work - by craigtm029429 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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