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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6728) - you deserved it (18180)
On 05/03/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by anonymous4991 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (7176)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3068) - you deserved it (60455)
On 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm - misc - by grovage - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21906) - you deserved it (3374)
On 05/02/2012 at 6:06pm - intimacy - by S12Sophia (woman) - France
Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14931) - you deserved it (5479)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by EyeSeeYou (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10991) - you deserved it (37139) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (2635)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was looking through my roommate's room trying to find a DVD, when I stumbled upon a bundle of pictures of me showering and sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (1720)
Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20572) - you deserved it (1858)
On 04/28/2012 at 11:55pm - misc - by thyisnothorses - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22085) - you deserved it (2560)
On 04/26/2012 at 10:43am - love - by Aus (woman) - United States
Today, it was snowing, and the campus looked just lovely. I sat on a nearby window ledge to enjoy the view. I was joined by a girl who looked fascinated as well, so I decided to make small talk. She nodded, smiled wistfully, and said, "There's herpes in the air today." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16774) - you deserved it (1814)
On 04/25/2012 at 2:22am - intimacy - by intheairtonight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18154) - you deserved it (12539)
On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35467) - you deserved it (2172)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10324) - you deserved it (34332)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, while I was in the midst of the most mind-blowing shower sex ever, the fire alarm went off. My girlfriend had left the stove top on and the entire kitchen had caught on fire. So instead of finishing, I frantically ran around naked trying to douse the flames. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19975) - you deserved it (2639)
On 04/17/2012 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by blocked_by_fire (man) - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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