XanderJayNix

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Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 7:45pm)

XanderJayNix

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5737
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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XanderJayNix's page activity

Visits<b>PhoenixMartinez</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 9:01pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:18pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 2:15am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 3:55pm<b>CaroBear</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 12:59am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:41am<b>ThatOneGuyKy</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:11pm<b>llamingo</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:05pm<b>jessurah</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:58am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:58am<b>xJo420</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:55am<b>Godsofdracos</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:09am<b>cerlia</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:03am<b>blu8</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 10:57am<b>suckstosuckgirl</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:56pm<b>lb0812</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:14pm<b>CaptainJudgment</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:57am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 9:55pm

XanderJayNix's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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XanderJayNix's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

by mel / 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm / United Kingdom (Bournemouth) / Work

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

by cockblocked / 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Kids

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

by mal / 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

by mal / 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML

by Kyley / 05/08/2012 at 7:55am / United States / Love

Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2012 at 10:52pm / United States / Money

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

by me / 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML

by rofindie / 05/07/2012 at 12:12am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Health

Today, my turtle, who had a little portion of the garden all to herself, died. My 5-year-old nephew wanted to "be like Mario" by jumping on her. FML

by Grindyloo / 05/05/2012 at 6:06am / Kids

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

by markzar / 05/05/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2012 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love