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Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15900) - you deserved it (3168)
On 05/19/2012 at 7:05am - health - by GothicAngel17 - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8206) - you deserved it (19614)
On 05/18/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by iris (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22242) - you deserved it (2090)
On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36999) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13751) - you deserved it (2486)
On 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm - misc - by OytoBeAfather (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (3022)
On 05/14/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by sneezeattack (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14885) - you deserved it (3461)
On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)
Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (1221)
On 05/12/2012 at 2:41am - health - by lspicknall - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20934) - you deserved it (2988)
On 05/12/2012 at 1:27am - intimacy - by crazyman. - United States (Texas)
Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8412) - you deserved it (49777)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28985) - you deserved it (4265)
On 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by rawr_fml001 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14341) - you deserved it (1794)
On 05/11/2012 at 5:23pm - work - by mel (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8986) - you deserved it (12949)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48306) - you deserved it (2257)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (2523)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Monday 20 May 2013
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