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Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48086) - you deserved it (6256)
On 06/26/2009 at 5:51am - money - by xero_art (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I flew into LAX. I get nervous when I fly so I brought my recently deceased dad's ashes with me in my purse. They're in a quarter sized urn which is melted shut. Security didn't believe it contained ashes so they broke it open spilling my dad all over the table. Sorry Daddy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83402) - you deserved it (22773)
On 06/18/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by CaliGirl (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (98686) - you deserved it (5179)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (2387)
On 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm - love - by cakegirl (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37763) - you deserved it (8981)
On 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I told my parents that I was going out with my boyfriend and they agreed to let me go as long as I was home by midnight. Did I come home on time? Yes. Was my shirt right side out? No. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18149) - you deserved it (85414)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:25pm - intimacy - by insideout (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16118) - you deserved it (49648)
On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to re-take an hour long MRI scan because I got an erection midway through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59500) - you deserved it (12219)
On 04/17/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19497) - you deserved it (83719)
On 04/02/2009 at 11:34am - intimacy - by imsorrytimmy (woman) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75962) - you deserved it (27255)
On 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm - intimacy - by Cynical (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
I agree, your life sucks (99966) - you deserved it (5692)
On 03/15/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by Alexa23 (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (20546) - you deserved it (74730)
On 03/09/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by Ethan (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59021) - you deserved it (18183)
On 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by lovewedge (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (205315) - you deserved it (44829)
On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18223) - you deserved it (28224)
On 02/25/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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