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XanderJayNix's favorite FMLs
by allwaysbuggedinheaven / 07/07/2009 at 8:16am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took a shower after I finished typing an important essay I've been working on for days. My computer illiterate mum shut the computer down when I was gone, without saving a thing. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for "wasting electricity". FML
by lifedamntough / 06/28/2009 at 7:49am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML
by xero_art / 06/26/2009 at 5:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Money
by quadropheniac / 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML
by cakegirl / 05/25/2009 at 9:15pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by insideout / 05/10/2009 at 4:25pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML
by schmoodles / 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/17/2009 at 10:14am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML
by imsorrytimmy / 04/02/2009 at 11:34am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Intimacy
by Cynical / 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
by Alexa23 / 03/15/2009 at 11:47am / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I got her she replied "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML
by Ethan / 03/09/2009 at 9:35am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML
by lovewedge / 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy