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Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27230) - you deserved it (2625)
On 11/02/2009 at 12:08am - love - by OhJoy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8745) - you deserved it (22901)
On 10/20/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by FailedEngineer (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30735) - you deserved it (505)
On 10/16/2009 at 4:44am - animals - by Halloweenie (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (1780)
On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was searching for a travel bag. I looked in my parents room for one. I found one alright, with all there sex toys in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12368) - you deserved it (3784)
On 09/25/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by R-R-R-Ray (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30435) - you deserved it (3571)
On 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm - kids - by Sadmom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while at my parent's house I decided to take a shower. I had to use my sister's bathroom and once out, grabbed a comb from her cupboard to brush my hair. I then noticed the clumps of hair on my shoulders. It's a razor comb on one side, regular on the other. I used the wrong side. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23358) - you deserved it (12127)
On 09/10/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each others company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14140) - you deserved it (3056)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63572) - you deserved it (5108)
On 08/06/2009 at 10:03pm - love - by Jeremy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11482) - you deserved it (37587)
On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mum deleted my college research assignment on rape because the subject was too vulgar. I had worked on it for the past month and it was worth 50% of my grade. It's due tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54179) - you deserved it (2935)
On 07/31/2009 at 9:51pm - work - by mandy (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56248) - you deserved it (4680)
On 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by helpfulmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I returned home to find out that my new and very expensive computer had overheated. I confronted my mom, and she told me that she had covered up the fan because she didn't like the noise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48528) - you deserved it (2398)
On 07/07/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by allwaysbuggedinheaven - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58610) - you deserved it (157003)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took a shower after I finished typing an important essay I've been working on for days. My computer illiterate mum shut the computer down when I was gone, without saving a thing. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for "wasting electricity". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22530) - you deserved it (45980)
On 06/28/2009 at 7:49am - misc - by lifedamntough (woman) - Singapore
Friday 24 May 2013
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