Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

XanderJayNix

Search for a member

XanderJayNix
  • Town/Country : San Diego, CA, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1931
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

XanderJayNix's last visitors

suckstosuckgirllb0812CaptainJudgmentBmf2k_taylorr_baee_JuicenubTehAnderzSevanaRatchetticia002RyZo

XanderJayNix's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of XanderJayNix's badges

XanderJayNix's favorite FMLs

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

#6252337
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41646) - you deserved it (2541)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by noexceptions (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came in to work and found the conference room white boards completely clean. My assistant wiped all the white boards where I spent 10 hours writing schedule for the next three months. I was going to meet with all supervisors to finalize that schedule today. FML

#6137753
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (5973)

On 11/03/2009 at 4:51pm - work - by CorpDrone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML

#6136343
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28210) - you deserved it (2195)

On 11/03/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by RedLion23 (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got an e-mail from a girl, asking if my boyfriend was indeed my boyfriend. I sent back a gushing message about how much I loved him and how well he treated me. She replied "Yeah, I know. He was supposed to be my boyfriend, too." FML

#6113173
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (2672)

On 11/02/2009 at 12:08am - love - by OhJoy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

#5916110
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10378) - you deserved it (29884)

On 10/20/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by FailedEngineer (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML

#5848381
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34175) - you deserved it (4323)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:44am - animals - by Halloweenie (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

#5813153
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28883) - you deserved it (2304)

On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was searching for a travel bag. I looked in my parents room for one. I found one alright, with all there sex toys in it. FML

#5464453
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14973) - you deserved it (4883)

On 09/25/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by R-R-R-Ray (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my 7 year old daughter decided to use my laptop without my permission. She accidentally got SpaghettiOs on the screen, then used the hard side of a sponge, filled with soapy water, to scrub both the keyboard and screen of my laptop to clean it off so Mommy wouldn't know. FML

#5319261
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34492) - you deserved it (4443)

On 09/17/2009 at 7:58pm - kids - by Sadmom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at my parent's house I decided to take a shower. I had to use my sister's bathroom and once out, grabbed a comb from her cupboard to brush my hair. I then noticed the clumps of hair on my shoulders. It's a razor comb on one side, regular on the other. I used the wrong side. FML

#5174930
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27643) - you deserved it (15683)

On 09/10/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

#5136668
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18413) - you deserved it (3976)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:26pm - intimacy - by awkwardbf (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said I remind her of her dad. FML

#4346574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70083) - you deserved it (6377)

On 08/06/2009 at 10:03pm - love - by Jeremy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

#4272437
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13058) - you deserved it (46505)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum deleted my college research assignment on rape because the subject was too vulgar. I had worked on it for the past month and it was worth 50% of my grade. It's due tomorrow. FML

#4192462
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55224) - you deserved it (2961)

On 07/31/2009 at 9:51pm - work - by mandy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML

#4055189
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57149) - you deserved it (4714)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by helpfulmom (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: