XanderJayNix

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Offline (the 09/01/2014 at 7:45pm)

XanderJayNix

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4992
  • Number of comments : 111
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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XanderJayNix's page activity

Visits<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:18pm<b>yellow33</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 2:15am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 3:55pm<b>CaroBear</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 12:59am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 09/25/2015 at 4:41am<b>ThatOneGuyKy</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:11pm<b>llamingo</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:05pm<b>jessurah</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 10:58am<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 7:32pm<b>Aero_x</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:58am<b>xJo420</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:55am<b>Godsofdracos</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:09am<b>cerlia</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:03am<b>blu8</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 10:57am<b>suckstosuckgirl</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 9:56pm<b>lb0812</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 9:14pm<b>CaptainJudgment</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 6:57am<b>Bmf2k</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 6:01pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 9:55pm

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XanderJayNix's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML

by wtf1234 / 05/02/2011 at 9:41pm / United States / Health

Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML

by wowimscrewed / 04/14/2011 at 12:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

by Fcuked / 03/23/2011 at 12:40am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

by Mikabe / 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Kids

Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML

by CatLitterLover / 02/08/2011 at 1:51am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

by mortified / 01/22/2011 at 11:04am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML

by paperbox / 01/16/2011 at 12:07am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML

by Chris / 01/01/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2010 at 5:41am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Geek

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML

by meikd423 / 09/10/2010 at 12:36pm / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML

by Sexylarry / 09/03/2010 at 3:42pm / Intimacy

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

by lonelyguy321 / 07/27/2010 at 10:43am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

by RachelVanLannen9 / 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy