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Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19367) - you deserved it (9506)
On 02/08/2011 at 1:51am - health - by CatLitterLover (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14699) - you deserved it (43388)
On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (4903)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my maths teacher was giving my whole class a lecture on 'if you don't pay attention at school, you will fail.' She then pointed out out a man working on the roof and said: 'if you don't listen, you will end up like that guy.' That was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37685) - you deserved it (2188)
On 01/16/2011 at 12:07am - misc - by paperbox (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26984) - you deserved it (2589)
On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22380) - you deserved it (4454)
On 10/05/2010 at 5:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35204) - you deserved it (2630)
On 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, with only a Santa hat on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (3161)
On 09/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by meikd423 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to get in bed. She said, "Okay, but make sure to finish before Gossip Girl starts." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20240) - you deserved it (6829)
On 09/03/2010 at 3:42pm - intimacy - by Sexylarry - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28711) - you deserved it (11636)
On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26762) - you deserved it (8920)
On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (7861)
On 05/30/2010 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by lonelyandbored - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having a hot telephone conversation with my boyfriend who lives in another state. Unfortunately, I even have to fake orgasms during phone sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13190) - you deserved it (21732)
On 05/27/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I walk out of my apartment to find that my car is decorated with explicit drawings and "Happy 21st birthday" stuff written all over it. To top it off, my vehicle is completely wrapped in plastic wrap. I'm 22 and my birthday is in December. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17138) - you deserved it (1257)
On 03/11/2010 at 7:04am - misc - by er1133 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31646) - you deserved it (4718)
On 02/23/2010 at 4:13pm - love - by Pip (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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