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Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5849) - you deserved it (42728)
Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28303) - you deserved it (3671)
On 09/26/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by faded as shit - United States
Today, my ex, whom I haven't seen in two years, contacted me. She was great company back in the day, wild in bed, the most attractive person I've ever dated, and totally uninterested in a serious relationship. She wants me to fix her computer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18961) - you deserved it (3252)
On 09/19/2011 at 8:20pm - love - by Tech Savvy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29226) - you deserved it (4045)
On 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (2289)
On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (36887)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27168) - you deserved it (3332)
On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)
Today, my father described my method of hiding porn on the computer as "extremely naive." I don't know what's worse, that he found my porn or that he's better at hiding his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10168) - you deserved it (19008)
On 08/03/2011 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by Alohaporno (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26876) - you deserved it (1961)
On 07/21/2011 at 10:10am - health - by blah (man) - United States
Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17316) - you deserved it (23701)
On 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by iDisable - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boss scheduled a staff breakfast at a swanky new restaurant for all the hard work we've been doing. The dining area is on the roof, and the building has no elevator. I've been in a wheelchair for 11 years. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he said it wasn't his problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40106) - you deserved it (2170)
On 05/20/2011 at 1:59pm - work - by jayc80 (man) - Bermuda (Hamilton)
Today, my boyfriend and I went on a picnic. After we finished eating he laid down, closed his eyes, and put his head in my lap. At the exact second that I bent down to kiss him, he jumped up to get the Frisbee. We both have bloody noses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23261) - you deserved it (3552)
On 05/02/2011 at 9:41pm - health - by wtf1234 - United States
Today, my roommate told me there is some restricted number that keeps calling and waking her up at odd hours of the night. She then says she's getting the police involved to find out who it is because she feels "harassed". I'm the restricted caller calling to wake her up from snoring so loud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12361) - you deserved it (24276)
On 04/14/2011 at 12:37am - misc - by wowimscrewed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him 'meow' over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18516) - you deserved it (49092)
On 03/23/2011 at 12:40am - intimacy - by Fcuked (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24546) - you deserved it (8778)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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