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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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XBCX96

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XBCX96
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 470
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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XBCX96's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (3077)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (22610) - you deserved it (4128)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML

#15170920 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (2184)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by Acesup111 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (26828) - you deserved it (3523)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML

#9067691 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (25063) - you deserved it (4138)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by Cooky (man) - United Kingdom (Calderdale)

Today, I finally jumped high enough to dunk on the ten foot rim. I caught my tooth on the net and nearly pulled my tooth out. FML

#8943287 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (16513) - you deserved it (4098)

On 03/09/2010 at 10:32am - health - by supermanxs1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488 (249)

I agree, your life sucks (25286) - you deserved it (3672)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:18pm - misc - by uHazFailedTotall - Norway (Rogaland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

#7225857 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (11303) - you deserved it (3335)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (35766) - you deserved it (1409)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

#7050421 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (18402) - you deserved it (7521)

On 12/31/2009 at 2:39am - kids - by Missyangel (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter thought that my new and expensive cologne smelled funny. She then decided to empty its contents down the toilet and refill the bottle with "nice-smelling things". I now smell like a mixture of chicken soup, my wife's perfume, tomato sauce and orange juice. FML

#6955245 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (21032) - you deserved it (2806)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:34am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend of two months broke up with me because she said I remind her too much of her first boyfriend and it creeps her out. I've checked with all of her friends and family. I am her first boyfriend. FML

#6616832 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (24775) - you deserved it (1816)

On 12/05/2009 at 2:14pm - love - by HellaBomber91 (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

#6291314 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (21045) - you deserved it (3838)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:09pm - kids - by DeeElleGee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

#6108981 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (23509) - you deserved it (9152)

On 11/01/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by Oops (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

#5802914 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (30096) - you deserved it (1096)

On 10/12/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by thafinest (man) - United States (North Carolina)