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Mobility
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Up and coming moderator
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14627) - you deserved it (35855)
On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (5055)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17047) - you deserved it (2428)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States
Today, I caught my boyfriend staring at my sister through the doorway while we were having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19830) - you deserved it (5923)
On 08/04/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by 420SUX - United States (Washington)
Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (2232)
On 08/02/2012 at 5:08pm - misc - by danonno (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend opened my refrigerator and began her standard moan: "You're a pig, you never clean up. Look at that egg, it makes me want to throw up, it's gone black, it’s covered in fuzz, IT'S GOT HAIR ON IT!" I got up to check it out. It was a Kiwi fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29496) - you deserved it (2909) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/02/2012 at 9:00am - love - by opinaise - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45409) - you deserved it (7534)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13966) - you deserved it (2879)
On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, due to my boyfriend teasing me about me possibly having been conceived on a beach because I was born in Hawaii, I finally asked my mom if I really was. She said no, but then told me in detail how much sex on a beach hurts when you get sand up your ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18128) - you deserved it (4969)
On 07/30/2012 at 1:56am - intimacy - by skyplaysguitar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17515) - you deserved it (4212)
On 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14889) - you deserved it (2075)
On 07/29/2012 at 2:49pm - kids - by oink oink fuck off - United Kingdom (Doncaster)
Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4137) - you deserved it (25341)
On 07/27/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by ryanharp2 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17801) - you deserved it (3201)
On 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28214) - you deserved it (2295)
On 07/25/2012 at 2:08pm - love - by Itstrickyyxx (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21184) - you deserved it (2124)
On 07/25/2012 at 9:03am - love - by Unlucky (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Monday 20 May 2013
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