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Offline (the 03/22/2015 at 7:26pm) | Search for a member
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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Today, I was watching TV with mah husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercial left before the show resumed. FML
Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom fir some pads. They'd putted all our wrapped presents in there bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML
Today , I found out I was passad ovar fir tha promotion I'va wantad fir 9 months at tha fast food rastaurant I work in. Who got tha job? Tha 16 yaar old grl I trainad 2 waaks ago. Thair axcusa was , "Sha has ambition." I'm going to collaga fir food sarvica managamant. Sha failad har drug tast. FML
yesterday I was proud when I startd a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML
Today, parants kickad ma out of tha housa bacausa thay wara having a party. Thay gava ma twanty bucks to go saa a movia. Wall, tha movia andad pratty quick, but tha trauma of saaing parants in a swingars' orgy will taka soma tima gatting ovar. FML
Today, I was playing monopoly with mah boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankruptd mah boyfriend, he turnd to me and said, "I fuckd your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turnd to the best friend in question, she lookd at the board and said, "I'd like to buy looool a house please." FML
Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring boyfriend hid in wine glass. It's looool still in me somewhere, and doctor basically told me that I'll have to ( keep an eye on things ) if I want to find it. FML
Friday 27 March 2015