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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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WoolyWhoop

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WoolyWhoop
  • Town/Country : Belfast, Northern Ireland
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 January 1987 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1147
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

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WoolyWhoop's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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WoolyWhoop's favorite FMLs

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518 (308)

I agree, your life sucks (31821) - you deserved it (2120)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (22537) - you deserved it (4561)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (29076) - you deserved it (4474)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

#16276951 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (6446) - you deserved it (2391)

On 05/21/2011 at 2:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I got pulled over for going about 88mph. When the cop asked why I was speeding, I replied, "I was trying to go back in time". He didn't like that answer and gave me a ticket. FML

#16248002 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (8292) - you deserved it (44182)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:30am - work - by 613tanner -

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (23395) - you deserved it (8772)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (26028) - you deserved it (22963)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077 (275)

I agree, your life sucks (54943) - you deserved it (4761)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML

#5172036 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (39019) - you deserved it (5944)

On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)