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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82012) - you deserved it (5313)
On 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm - animals - by sammatthews2007 (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (102761) - you deserved it (17445)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15446) - you deserved it (42761)
On 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm - kids - by ripdivine (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16643) - you deserved it (43687)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16643) - you deserved it (43687)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to brush up on my flirting skills and ask a guy I thought was kind of cute what time it was. He pointed to the very visible watch on my wrist and said "You should know already". FML
I agree, your life sucks (5288) - you deserved it (41017)
On 02/24/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Timeless (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23429) - you deserved it (67219)
On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26947) - you deserved it (6701)
On 02/19/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48507) - you deserved it (4332)
On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48507) - you deserved it (4332)
On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7768) - you deserved it (31776)
On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178406) - you deserved it (61521)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40580) - you deserved it (6414)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, My boyfriend dumped me because he said the relationship was too tough for him. When I asked for an example he responded "Like, I don't have enough time to play World of WarCraft." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40113) - you deserved it (6128)
On 02/12/2009 at 10:46pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Arizona)
Today, I took my friend to buy a pregancy test. She took it and it came out negative. I decided to re-pee on it to be funny...it turned to positive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45418) - you deserved it (16972)
On 02/12/2009 at 11:34am - misc - by whybia (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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