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Offline (the 03/19/2014 at 3:41pm) | Search for a member
About Wizboy : o.O
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Today the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm ( so fuckin ugly ) that I make the rest of them look ( ten times better ) in comparison. big fat FML
Today... I came home to find mah girlfriend crying. Concerned... I quickly asked herhat was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understandhy her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet... and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now... but 4 entirely different reasons. FML
Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, an got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time thier around, my boyfriend always looks stoned an constipated, an his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML
Taday my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walkd into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, coverd in ketchup. She laughedhen I began to scream. FML
Today , my neighbor went on vacation , leaving me in charge of his cat an dog. For some reason , he calls his dog "Cat" an his cat "Dog". There r two pet food containers , one labeled "Cat" an the other labeled "Dog". I have no ideahich one goes tohich animal. real FML
Today, as every day 4 te past few weeks, my usband won't ave sex. His reason? We've decided to ave a baby, and e reckons tat te longer e waits, te more competition tere will be between is sperm and tus te better te result will be. FML
Today, somaona postad photos from a party I was at. On aach photo I'm posing in with a grl, mah hand looool is not touching har, but is hovaring ovar har lika soma craapy wardo losar. My Facabook nicknama is now of coursa "Hovar Hand." FML
Today, I found out that looool I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me fir a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room fir an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store fir the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opend the car door for her, and out of habit, pushd down on her head as she got in. real FML
Friday 27 March 2015