About Will09 : I dont no
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was putting on cream and my son asked what it was for. I told him it was to keep the wrinkles away. He looked at me closely and replied, "I don't think it's working." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36407) - you deserved it (4437)
On 05/23/2009 at 1:04am - kids - by julieb (man) - United States (New York)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (165642) - you deserved it (14444)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a little girl at work was coloring a picture that said "Best Dad" on it. Wanting to be nice I asked her if she was making it for her dad for father's day. She looked at me with a sad face and said, "I don't have a dad..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44848) - you deserved it (4615)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:03am - kids - by zbaby (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9896) - you deserved it (34766)
On 05/22/2009 at 8:12pm - misc - by erin3809483 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while driving across country, my car broke down while in the middle of nowhere. I had it towed to a mechanic in the nearest town. While he fixed the car, I went to get lunch. The only restaurant in town was an old-fashioned drive-up diner. They wouldn't serve me because I wasn't in a car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37643) - you deserved it (1586)
On 05/22/2009 at 7:25pm - misc - by stillhungry (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (50173)
On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (58219) - you deserved it (18718)
On 05/22/2009 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I asked my best friend why she didn't ask our other best friend Anna to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. She said, "She's too pretty. I need ugly bridesmaids to make me look better." I am the maid of honor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49962) - you deserved it (2867)
On 05/22/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by Neverthebride - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I went to the casino. I used my last $5 on a slot machine. When the machine started lighting up, saying I had just won $20,000, I excitedly began jumping and screaming. As people crowded around me, the casino lady explained it was 20,000 credits, not dollars. I had only won $20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32885) - you deserved it (12699)
On 05/22/2009 at 6:12pm - money - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was kicked out of my parents house. I was sleeping in my truck bed because I had nowhere to go. I awoke to a "beep beep beep" noise. I was being towed while sleeping in the truck bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36657) - you deserved it (4243)
On 05/22/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by tootles (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72531) - you deserved it (7925)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)
Today, I worked up the courage to comment on my crush's picture. I wrote "Cool picture" on his facebook profile picture. Pleased with myself, I later logged on to see if he had replied. He had. Well, at least he took the time to reply- "Who the fuck are you?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (45855) - you deserved it (8352)
On 05/22/2009 at 3:27pm - love - by Invisible (woman) - Switzerland (Basel-Stadt)
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I screamed when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34472) - you deserved it (8736)
On 05/22/2009 at 11:16am - misc - by Ouch (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27217) - you deserved it (9457)
On 05/22/2009 at 10:08am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9201) - you deserved it (32660)
On 05/22/2009 at 8:09am - work - by bigblue51 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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