I dont no
Today, to cheer my girlfriend up after her mother died a week ago, I took her to a comedy club. The comedian's theme for the night happened to be mother-daughter relationships. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40335) - you totally deserved it (4182)
On 07/27/2009 at 7:33pm - love - by RupeeLink - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36070) - you totally deserved it (8258)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30610) - you totally deserved it (3919)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:17pm - misc - by Deadfish (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was performing in the musical 'Cabaret'. I was playing a Nazi soldier, swastika armband and all. Someone thought it would be funny to take my real clothes while I was on stage. I had to walk a mile back my house with my costume on. Someone threw eggs at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34174) - you totally deserved it (2976)
On 07/21/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50098) - you totally deserved it (1239)
On 07/02/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by daRN (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)
Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened windows explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35055) - you totally deserved it (4002)
On 07/01/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Robert (man) - United States (New York)
Today, a car floated slowly into my lane from the left with no signal. She gazed at the right turn like it was going to kiss her. "What the FUCK, lady?" I shouted, slamming on my brakes. Two seconds later I hear a tiny voice in my back seat, "What fut, YADY?!" My 22 month old son's first full sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12656) - you totally deserved it (39575)
On 06/22/2009 at 1:30am - kids - by ObeyTheFist (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, the weather was nice so I decided to eat outside. I quickly found out that my new, expensive hair conditioner attracts bees. Lots of bees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you totally deserved it (4174)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:32am - health - by Stung (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5288) - you totally deserved it (53446)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33053) - you totally deserved it (7874)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States
Today, my mom and I rented a hotel room. She decided to go to bed, while I watched MythBusters. Apparently, my mom got hot while she slept. She threw the covers off of herself and pulled up her night-gown. I turned to find out that my mother does not wear underwear when she sleeps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39003) - you totally deserved it (1865)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:45am - misc - by ZAS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my grandpa died. I decided to call my grandma to make sure she was going to be fine. After talking over the phone for 30 minutes or so, I told her goodbye and said, out of habit: "Say hi to grandpa for me". FML
I agree, your life sucks (32567) - you totally deserved it (14761)
On 06/15/2009 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26055) - you totally deserved it (9100)
On 06/13/2009 at 10:24pm - misc - by philderichmond (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was volunteering at a zoo event for special needs kids. My job was to dress up in a kangaroo costume and greet the kids. One kid came up and said "You're not real!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36036) - you totally deserved it (2471)
On 06/13/2009 at 10:42am - kids - by Hackmanjones (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was smoking in my car and flicked the butt... into the face of a cop on a motorcycle going the other way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6914) - you totally deserved it (42507)
On 06/13/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
