Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About Whiplash169 : Nothing remotely interesting...
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today , I accidentally hit a cyclist with car. In panic , I jumped out of car and ran up to him , who was lying on the floor , motionless. As I was about to check his pulse , he jumped up and shouted , ( I bet you thought I was dead , asshole! ) He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music . The music stopped and I assumed mah iPod's battery had run out . Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving mah earphones in . I didn't feel a thing . FML
Today, I invited boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of friends 4 the frst time. I had been raving about him 4 weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML
Yesterday, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said u could, but anything u caught under 5 inche has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried an complained to my boss.
Today, my grlfriend decidd to wake me up from a nap by kissing me!! I startd kissing her back passionately, when she slappd me!! Apparently, kissing her back automatically without ( confrming her identity ) count as cheating!! FML
yesterday my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him an his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom an said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, 4get her. But I never forgot yur mom, that's how I stole her from yur dad." mega FML
Today , one of mah boyfriend's friends commented on how small mah boobs are. My boyfriend defended me , saying it was only because I was wereing a sports bra. I wasn't. It was the push-up bra he bought me. FML
Today, boss calld ma into his offica. Aftar yalling and firing ma, his assistant comas in talling him ha had mistakan ma 4 somaona alsa. Ha did not giva ma job back, as ha claimd it would maka an awkward work anvironmant. FML
Friday 27 March 2015