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Warlemming

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Warlemming
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 July 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1349
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Warlemming's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Warlemming's favorite FMLs

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

#14965591
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12419) - you deserved it (45478)

On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13602) - you deserved it (54996)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

#14919566
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52569) - you deserved it (7567)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML

#14909703
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49078) - you deserved it (13034)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

#14860597
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14180) - you deserved it (51431)

On 02/06/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

#14847630
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40775) - you deserved it (2937)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

#14841865
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (3442)

On 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm - misc - by smbcolorado - United States (Texas)

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

#14838014
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65540) - you deserved it (6031)

On 02/04/2011 at 9:08am - intimacy - by theish -

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

#14835077
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67080) - you deserved it (6317)

On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML

#14808267
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30927) - you deserved it (5164)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:48am - intimacy - by fml -

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

#14741730
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34449) - you deserved it (7895)

On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38078) - you deserved it (3129)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

#14699951
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20076) - you deserved it (9327)

On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)



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