Warlemming

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Warlemming

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2895
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Warlemming's page activity

Visits<b>3szbkp</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:43pm<b>narwhal007</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:23am<b>Audrey_Scarlet</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:54am<b>SubparAtBest</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:00am<b>FoTheWin</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 8:01pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:50pm<b>Keeraan</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 3:28am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:09pm

Warlemming's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Warlemming's badges

Warlemming's favorite FMLs

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

by NotAsToughAsHeThinks / 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm / United States (Montana) / Health

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

by RyanM / 02/13/2011 at 4:01am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

by flattened / 02/10/2011 at 5:58am / Animals

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML

by Samyett / 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Love

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I reached climax. While I was screaming, my 4 year old son comes in with his water gun because he thought I was in trouble. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

by smbcolorado / 02/04/2011 at 5:43pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML

by theish / 02/04/2011 at 9:08am / Intimacy

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

by Summer_Jane / 02/03/2011 at 5:40am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while my boyfriend was inside me, he got a text message. He actually stopped thrusting to reply. FML

by fml / 02/02/2011 at 4:48am / Intimacy

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

by duckthehack / 01/28/2011 at 9:25am / Poland (Wielkopolskie) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

by 123roomielover / 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

by Fucked / 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy