Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Warlemming

Search for a member

Warlemming

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1670
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Warlemming's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:50pm<b>Keeraan</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 3:28am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:09pm

Warlemming's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Warlemming's badges

Warlemming's favorite FMLs

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29535) - you deserved it (8600)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

#15091892
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38235) - you deserved it (3554)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

#15078337
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44210) - you deserved it (8751)

On 02/22/2011 at 1:30pm - misc - by Someone (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7254) - you deserved it (96553)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49290) - you deserved it (41001)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33376) - you deserved it (6709)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that to save on expenses, my wife booked a very small hotel room for ourselves and the kids while we visit Disney World. I've been officially cockblocked by Mickey Mouse. FML

#15029683
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32718) - you deserved it (7548)

On 02/18/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Disney - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

#15012156
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9402) - you deserved it (49323)

On 02/17/2011 at 2:02am - intimacy - by biglady (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

#15000318
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37714) - you deserved it (4429)

On 02/16/2011 at 7:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. Within seconds of getting my drink, I spilled it all over the table and my scarf. When the waiter was helping clean up the spill, he knocked over my boyfriend's drink. All over my pants. FML

#14999054
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26976) - you deserved it (4477)

On 02/16/2011 at 2:40am - misc - by Tori (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my Dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

#14998029
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45949) - you deserved it (3674)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45252) - you deserved it (13036)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

#14974014
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30415) - you deserved it (11339)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

#14973308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36760) - you deserved it (4299)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46727) - you deserved it (9260)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: