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Warlemming

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Warlemming
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 July 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 1350
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Warlemming's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Warlemming's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

#16068047
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12397) - you deserved it (45604)

On 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Saudi Arabia

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

#16042131
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36608) - you deserved it (6006)

On 05/04/2011 at 7:51am - intimacy - by woah (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

#15883377
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73143) - you deserved it (5503)

On 04/22/2011 at 7:11am - intimacy - by Damian -

Today, I kissed a boy I have liked since the first day of university. I was thrilled until he followed it with, "Right, I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Not that they'd believe it anyway." He then patted my ass and walked away. FML

#15512355
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32112) - you deserved it (3838)

On 03/27/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML

#15485596
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20241) - you deserved it (8753)

On 03/25/2011 at 5:52pm - animals - by fish killer - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34817) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

#15281187
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41609) - you deserved it (7285)

On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

#15229929
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25620) - you deserved it (5667)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm - health - by Less (woman) - Reserved

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11182) - you deserved it (37513)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (8786)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (8786)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML

#15174885
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48492) - you deserved it (4562)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:12pm - love - by FFFFF- (man) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16512) - you deserved it (80494)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

#15161095
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46511) - you deserved it (13497)

On 03/01/2011 at 8:24am - intimacy - by WhyMe? -



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