Warlemming

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Warlemming

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2802
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Warlemming's page activity

Visits<b>3szbkp</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 3:43pm<b>narwhal007</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:23am<b>Audrey_Scarlet</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 2:54am<b>SubparAtBest</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 7:00am<b>FoTheWin</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 8:01pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:50pm<b>Keeraan</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 3:28am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:09pm

Warlemming's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of Warlemming's badges

Warlemming's favorite FMLs

Today, I locked myself in the bathroom and started spanking the ferret. I started to get really into it when my dad started pounding on the door and yelled, "Son, that's great staying power, but can you finish up already?" FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2011 at 2:09pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

by woah / 05/04/2011 at 7:51am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

by Damian / 04/22/2011 at 7:11am / Intimacy

Today, I kissed a boy I have liked since the first day of university. I was thrilled until he followed it with, "Right, I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Not that they'd believe it anyway." He then patted my ass and walked away. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2011 at 10:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML

by fish killer / 03/25/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

by Username / 03/12/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

by Less / 03/07/2011 at 2:39pm / Reserved / Health

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

by lolzboss / 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend's best friend told me she was in hospital after having made a suicide attempt. In shock, I had a panic attack and ended up in the hospital myself. Turns out it was all a lie to see whether or not I was committed to the relationship. FML

by FFFFF- / 03/02/2011 at 12:12pm / Singapore / Love

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML

by WhyMe? / 03/01/2011 at 8:24am / Intimacy