WaSiSimiLang

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Offline (the 04/10/2016 at 7:28pm)

WaSiSimiLang

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  • Number of visits : 1627
  • Number of comments : 242
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>AwkwardBookworm</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 5:44pm<b>thatannoyingdude</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 1:45pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 2:36pm<b>iprene</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 5:45am<b>greenwichgal</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:19pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 2:19am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 11:26am<b>rcarn</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 3:12pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 12:20pm<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:05am<b>Friaza</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:32pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:12am<b>meisan</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:53am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 4:23am<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:20pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 8:36am<b>FmyL6</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:01pm<b>justicewaffle</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 3:10am

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WaSiSimiLang's favorite FMLs

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

by Joey / 07/24/2012 at 1:04am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML

by Joey / 07/24/2012 at 1:04am / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

by are you kidding me???? / 07/20/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my sister-in-law is getting married. She is one of my best friends, and was my maid of honor when I got married. She's asked me to serve punch at hers. FML

by alaskaintexas / 07/19/2012 at 3:29am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML

by Awkward / 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

by gimmeasalad / 04/21/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

by gimmeasalad / 04/21/2012 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that not all black people are lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2012 at 12:46am / United States (Nevada) / Work