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Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (6292)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Joey - United States (Florida)
Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (6292)
On 07/24/2012 at 1:04am - misc - by Joey - United States (Florida)
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (4109)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (4109)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (975)
On 07/20/2012 at 12:58am - work - by are you kidding me???? - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4196) - you deserved it (24905)
On 07/19/2012 at 7:56pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8846) - you deserved it (31194)
Today, I found out my sister-in-law is getting married. She is one of my best friends, and was my maid of honor when I got married. She's asked me to serve punch at hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (1765)
On 07/19/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by alaskaintexas - United States (Texas)
Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25794) - you deserved it (2321)
On 07/18/2012 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by Awkward - United States (California)
Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16810) - you deserved it (4166)
On 04/29/2012 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6337) - you deserved it (21951)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6337) - you deserved it (21951)
On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)
Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18924) - you deserved it (1272)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by MI3 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18924) - you deserved it (1272)
On 04/19/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by MI3 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I finally asked some friends to read the beginning of a novel that I'd been slaving away at. One of them said it was the literary equivalent of aquarium gravel. Another asked if I'd been sniffing boot polish while writing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12191) - you deserved it (2884)
On 04/19/2012 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Friday 24 May 2013
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