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This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28562) - you deserved it (94390)
Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31307) - you deserved it (2885)
On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28089) - you deserved it (4376)
On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46378) - you deserved it (1824)
On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31608) - you deserved it (2059)
On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26368) - you deserved it (7162)
On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22864) - you deserved it (1489)
On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (2400)
On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17447) - you deserved it (3160)
On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States
Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40954) - you deserved it (2667)
On 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by AllegroRubato (man) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31158) - you deserved it (2170)
On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18724) - you deserved it (829)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:30am - health - by Atletic - United States (New York)
Today, a nearby volcano erupted for the second time. We were all urged to keep our windows and doors closed in case of ash clouds. My father responded by opening every window and door and shouting, "Come at me, bro!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19419) - you deserved it (1470)
On 11/20/2012 at 11:50pm - misc - by vanillatwilight2 (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29825) - you deserved it (1467)
On 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm - animals - by AdamwithanA (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10557) - you deserved it (42352)
On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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