About Vittu_Elamani : "Who are you? How did you get in here?"
"I'm a locksmith...and I'm a locksmith."
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Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24899) - you deserved it (5492)
On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
I agree, your life sucks (33698) - you deserved it (2417)
On 12/20/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19778) - you deserved it (2610)
On 11/28/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Orangehead (man) - United States (California)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31858) - you deserved it (2161)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40788) - you deserved it (2979)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35053) - you deserved it (14541)
On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (65193)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45370) - you deserved it (17925)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7771) - you deserved it (59645)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and blew past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6669) - you deserved it (40976)
On 05/23/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by DQB (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I ordered more memory and a new hard drive for my computer. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31447) - you deserved it (6317)
On 05/20/2009 at 10:17pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13914) - you deserved it (44704)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47139) - you deserved it (11847)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML
I agree, your life sucks (69042) - you deserved it (20088)
On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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