Vittu_Elamani

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Offline (the 08/15/2014 at 8:22pm)

Vittu_Elamani

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1299
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Vittu_Elamani : "Who are you? How did you get in here?"
"I'm a locksmith...and I'm a locksmith."

Vittu_Elamani's page activity

Visits<b>max367</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 6:25pm<b>mLove395</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 6:58am<b>Tundulinski</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 7:14pm<b>Ari1337</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 5:30pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 08/21/2013 at 5:11pm<b>zombiekitten87</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 11:32pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/18/2013 at 3:09am<b>sara122010</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 12:54am<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/19/2012 at 9:24pm<b>starbucksguy</b> - the 05/12/2012 at 7:20am<b>tikimuppet</b> - the 01/19/2012 at 7:59pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:17pm

Vittu_Elamani's FML badges

Perfectionist

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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Vittu_Elamani's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

by thegirlofthedad / 01/29/2013 at 4:48am / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

by Jman6295 / 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm / United States / Work

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

by anna / 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2011 at 9:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

by f*ckingdisgusted / 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML

by Username / 08/02/2011 at 12:43am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a driving lesson. I ended up driving so badly that my instructor asked me to stop the car. Not so he could explain my mistakes to me, but so he could get out and vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 5:28pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

by Cowgirl_Up37 / 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

by ohcrap / 06/02/2011 at 6:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous