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Vidrill's favorite FMLs
by anon / 06/21/2014 at 8:50am / United States (New Jersey) / Health
Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML
by AshleyP / 04/04/2014 at 10:17am / United Kingdom / Kids
by kubbyp / 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by wiona / 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2014 at 7:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML
by Why / 04/02/2014 at 4:13am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by derped-out sperm / 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Ireland / Kids
Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2014 at 2:06am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML
by disgusted / 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/29/2013 at 5:38am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2013 at 11:33am / United States / Miscellaneous
by HamSandwich12 / 05/08/2013 at 10:17am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML
by kprince / 05/08/2013 at 10:00am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/08/2013 at 2:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I received over 1000 newsletters in my email. It seems someone signed my email up for every… Today, my husband told me I need to go to anger management. The reason? Because when I don't agree… Today, I found out my girlfriend has a beastiality fetish...After letting her dogsit for a week. FML