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VianaJ_Garcia

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VianaJ_Garcia
  • Town/Country : Lisbon, Portugal
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 July 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1270
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About VianaJ_Garcia : Awwww yeah!

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VianaJ_Garcia's favorite FMLs

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29921) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife compared me to Sid the sloth from Ice Age. Same smile, same eyes, same belly, same big feet. FML

#17629436
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you deserved it (4773)

On 08/31/2011 at 12:25pm - love - by faceless_sailor8 - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

#17612364
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27198) - you deserved it (5286)

On 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by bobin - United States

Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML

#17589386
670 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (37484)

On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML

#17586338
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22876) - you deserved it (2972)

On 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm - animals - by James - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32370) - you deserved it (2434)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33610) - you deserved it (2402)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18677) - you deserved it (39367)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52662) - you deserved it (5064)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I discovered I have dandruff, which I never had before. I googled the possible reasons and those are depression and hormones. Not only have I not had sex for a year, but it's also the reason I have dandruff. And apparently I'm depressed. How sexy is that? FML

#15150617
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23983) - you deserved it (5830)

On 02/28/2011 at 10:27am - intimacy - by icareaboutmyhair (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

#15102799
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26132) - you deserved it (4396)

On 02/24/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by OhDear (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (40205)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43860) - you deserved it (4013)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6862) - you deserved it (93407)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

#15039071
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25429) - you deserved it (4264)

On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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