Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Verst

Offline (the 09/17/2014 at 9:58pm) | Search for a member

Verst

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 733
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Verst : A verst (Russian: верста, versta) is an obsolete Russian unit of length. It is defined as being 500 sazhen long, which makes a verst equal to 1.0668 kilometres (0.6629 miles; 3,500 feet).

Add 400 comments and 450 visits to my current amounts. (If those even matter).

I'm serious most of the time, but sometimes I just mess around.

Docbastard.blogspot.com is a good read, check it out.

Verst's page activity

Visits<b>fatkidfalling</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 1:11am<b>Lutero69</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:45pm<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 4:05pm<b>michiganfool32</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:08pm<b>neonvortex</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 10:01pm<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:19pm<b>JabariShoemaker</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Jishiku</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:19pm<b>anrsoul16</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:14am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 7:47pm<b>Solarfaze</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 4:54pm<b>_Lise5</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 8:45am<b>Yettie</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 4:07pm<b>dreamerG</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:48am<b>ripcity2</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:52pm<b>DocBastard</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Generic_Toaster</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 10:50pm<b>partyartie</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 12:58am

Verst's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of Verst's badges

Verst's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an important oral report to deliver with a partner. Not only did he come in late and high, he pronounced Virginia as "Vagina" the whole way through. FML

#21257414
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34726) - you deserved it (3124)

On 09/13/2014 at 10:36am - misc - by Jamestown of Vagina (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a middle-aged customer tried to pay for a $2 ice cream bar with a credit card. It was declined, so he made me swipe it again. Declined. "Quit touching the metal strip," he scowled. I held the outer edge of it and swiped. Declined. He then bitched me out as his mother paid for him. FML

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42787) - you deserved it (7380)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38853) - you deserved it (24000)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML

Today, my ex-boyfriend surprised me with a gorgeous, giant stuffed tiger as a belated birthday gift. I thought it was a lovely gesture until a friend told me she had thrown it in the dumpster behind our building this morning. FML

#21226147
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (3111)

On 07/31/2014 at 8:17pm - love - by Does this thought count? (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

#21180967
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50596) - you deserved it (6740)

On 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm - love - by forever alone - United States (New York)

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

#21096273
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41500) - you deserved it (3439)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

#21089766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (3764)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by can't sleep - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML

#21080680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55829) - you deserved it (3463)

On 03/07/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by GLHan (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

#21080644
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42249) - you deserved it (4629)

On 03/07/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by fuck off, eh! (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I awoke to the sound of a gunshot, followed by children screaming. I leapt out of bed and ran to my balcony, only to see people casually milling around the elementary school parking lot under a "Science Fair" banner. A kid's science experiment scared me shitless. FML

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

#21073274
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37819) - you deserved it (5605)

On 02/27/2014 at 3:58pm - animals - by ricard0 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML

#21073158
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40047) - you deserved it (3359)

On 02/27/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by SchoolFMLs (man) - United States (Florida)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: