Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About Verst : A verst (Russian: верста, versta) is an obsolete Russian unit of length. It is defined as being 500 sazhen long, which makes a verst equal to 1.0668 kilometres (0.6629 miles; 3,500 feet).
Add 400 comments and 450 visits to my current amounts. (If those even matter).
I'm serious most of the time, but often I just mess around.
Docbastard.blogspot.com is very interesting, check it out.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I spent my last $50 to get a ticket to take my daughter out for a nice birthday dinner tonight. It wasn't until after I purchased it that I realized the restaurant isn't even open on Mondays. FML
Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML
Today, a middle-aged customer tried to pay for a $2 ice cream bar with a credit card. It was declined, so he made me swipe it again. Declined. "Quit touching the metal strip," he scowled. I held the outer edge of it and swiped. Declined. He then bitched me out as his mother paid for him. FML
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, I attended a family gathering. My cousin's new baby was being passed around. By way of politely declining to hold it, I meant to say that I looked forward to getting to know it better once it could talk. What I blurted out instead was, "I can't wait until it resembles a human being." FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend surprised me with a gorgeous, giant stuffed tiger as a belated birthday gift. I thought it was a lovely gesture until a friend told me she had thrown it in the dumpster behind our building this morning. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a few days off next week, because my grandmother passed away yesterday and I'll need to travel to attend the funeral. His response: "She's dead, you're not. You want time off, then quit." FML
Friday 31 July 2015