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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Ventriloquisitor

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Ventriloquisitor
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 867
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Ventriloquisitor's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML

#3051580 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (46527) - you deserved it (2104)

On 06/20/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by Dumbass - United States (Florida)

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

#3029108 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (33272) - you deserved it (1479)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:53pm - animals - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

#3028643 (398)

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (9260)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28137) - you deserved it (46077)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

#1927832 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (51689) - you deserved it (4042)

On 05/14/2009 at 11:24am - kids - by TwinDad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

#1923265 (397)

I agree, your life sucks (86771) - you deserved it (7138)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (51236) - you deserved it (5130)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received a random packet of papers in the mail by the state suing me for child support. I am 22 and still a virgin. FML

#24806 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (49628) - you deserved it (2332)

On 02/11/2009 at 10:51am - misc - by Distressed (man) - United States (Oregon)