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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up, just like daddy's girlfriend. We're still married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31622) - you deserved it (2577)
On 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm - love - by ShayisPay101 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33765) - you deserved it (109272)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (165698) - you deserved it (14448)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving home from school, when I saw this girl I like walking home. Trying to be polite, I pulled over and asked if she wanted a ride. After my offer, I was rejected as she said "No, I'm actually already home," and walked up the nearest driveway... MY driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67327) - you deserved it (4700)
On 04/16/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by Kelavmeister (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84832) - you deserved it (11959)
On 03/30/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by lucky (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, while lying in bed with my girlfriend and she was grabbing the fat on my stomach I said to her "stop touching my fat". She replied "so don't touch you at all?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44515) - you deserved it (20700)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by justinherass (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was going to a stoplight party. Green shirt=single, yellow=hard to get and red=taken. I show up wearing a red shirt and I see my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I ask him jokingly why he isn't wearing red. He looks at me weird and says, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (85202) - you deserved it (3575)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:47pm - misc - by 1234567898765432 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up that she would take me to get birthcontrol. Wanting birthcontrol, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I am not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52844) - you deserved it (19872)
On 03/25/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was at my friends house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girl if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dial my number and look down to find she has my number is saved in her phone as ASS FACE #3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55449) - you deserved it (7678)
On 03/24/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45076) - you deserved it (70157)
On 03/23/2009 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (85318)
On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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