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Vegetarian27's favorite FMLs
by awkword / 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by laurenasabutton / 12/30/2013 at 8:07am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Health
Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2013 at 7:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
by LeaveHimAlone / 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Kayak / 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML
by ConfusedDad / 12/29/2013 at 2:01am / United States / Kids
Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML
by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals
Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML
by beemove / 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm / Jamaica (Saint Andrew) / Intimacy
by sydstreet / 12/25/2013 at 10:33am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by .... / 12/23/2013 at 9:48pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm / Sweden / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…